Why are people afraid?

One of the two main causes of personal fear is lack of control.

If you are like most people, you probably get a little tickle in the stomach when you look at a big slimy snake in a glass case. You have no real need to feel threatened because of the barrier of glass between you and the snake. If you were then to turn around to talk to a friend and then, on returning to look at the snake, you saw an empty case with the door wide open, you may, even for a moment, feel a little more scared than you were before.

You can control a potentially fearful situation either directly or indirectly. You have direct control over the snake if you can restrict how, when and where the snake can move. Or you can indirectly control your interaction with the snake by removing yourself from where the snake is found. The reverse however, happens when someone else is controlling the snake. There is a pretty good chance for most of us that the lack of control leads us to a new dimension of fear.

Control also can affect the fear you face on a something like a roller coaster. You have most likely gone on one or two stomach turners during your lifetime, even though you knew you would experience fear, or even sickness. The fear in this instance is short lived, restricted by the length of the ride.

I remember many times standing, looking at a ride in action, watching the people as they got on and off the ride. I saw evidence of the ride staying on the track and people surviving the ordeal, some even running to line up and have another go. This was enough for me to feel enough in control to face my fear and get on board. You can go right to the edge of uncontrolled fear, knowing that in less than two minutes the ride will be over and you will be on the ground, safe and sound.

The message we can all take from this is to focus on what is known and what is in our control, using these things as the strength we take action and overcome the fear.

Next we will look at the other main cause of fear, lack of self-esteem.

Have a prosperous week, facing your fear. You deserve it!

Cheers

Grant Herbert
The People Builder

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What am I really afraid of?

What am I afraid of?Fear is a system of inner thoughts that can affect both your mental and physical processes. It can prevent you from taking necessary action, or can steer you off track into further frustration.

Fear “objects” are the things that sow the seeds of fear and usually fall into the following three categories:

Fear of People – the boss, your spouse, your neighbour, strangers.

Fear of Things – snakes, spiders, mice, sharks, bats, dogs.

Fear of Situations – heights, darkness, divorce, sickness, death, public speaking, bankruptcy.

You can be afraid of what you see right in front of you, or you can worry about some event or situation that may or may not happen in the future. Fear is often coupled with anxiety, a self-generated state of apprehension that has a vague object as it’s source, or no object at all. The object is not normally the real fear, it is something deeper that causes us to fear that object in the first place. An example of that for me came from nearly drowning a few years ago. From that experience I developed a fear of the ocean, holding me back from going to the beach. Was I afraid of the ocean or afraid of drowning? Was drowning the issue or death itself? Was it death or leaving my wife and kids alone? Why do I feel they could not live without me? There are enough issues there to feed a university student with the raw material for a thesis, however for our purpose today, we can use my example to chunk down into your fears and cut them off at the source. Only this will allow your overcoming to be long term.

OK, enough of the theory; are you ready to take some action?

Put your fears under the microscope. Know what you are really afraid of and why. Develop an acute awareness of your fear state. Figure out what objects make you nervous and apprehensive. Think beyond your feelings and emotions, be able to describe them in detail along with the consequences of being afraid.

Get yourself comfortable in a safe place, journal and pen at the ready, then close your eyes and focus your mind, non-judgmentally, on people, things and situations that have bothered you over the last few weeks or are bothering you right this minute. Picture them as they really are, not as you are afraid they might be or you would like them to be. No thoughts of what is good or bad, just what is!

Use your journal to take inventory of everything you feel, hear and see that affects your fears.

How much of what you have written is what you know to be true and how much is what you think could be true?

What are the triggers of your fear?

What are you really afraid of?

Write out a list of your top 3 fears and, using a new page for each, begin to list some practical moves you can make to get them under control.

I would love you to use your courage to post a reply below, letting me know what you found out and how it has empowered you. You all have what it takes to uncover these nasty little fears for what they truly are. Being a slave to fear is not what you were created for. Fear is designed to be an amber light on the road to your dreams and goals, not a red one!

Have an outstanding week taking massive action against your fears. You deserve it!

Cheers

Grant Herbert
The People Builder

PLEASE SUBSCRIBE ME TO THE “FACE YOUR FEARS” JOURNEY

Face your Fears

Fear is undoubtedly one of the strongest and most influential emotional responses we have, and it can act as both a protective and destructive force depending on the situation.
Obviously, fear can help us avoid dangerous situations, triggering the “fight or flight” response when we feel threatened. Unfortunately, this same response can also be triggered when no real threat exists. We simply find ourselves feeling overwhelmed and anxious even when we know logically that no harm will come to us.

For many of us, fear can become a serious hindrance in our lives, preventing us from getting a better job, meeting eligible life partners, seeking medical care, or even venturing outside our homes in severe cases.

Fear is one of the most common reasons that people hold back on living the life they were created to live.

Even if they intensely want to create better circumstances, they may struggle with an overwhelming fear of failure, so they refuse to take risks because they may have to endure unpleasant outcomes. In these cases the risk of failure seems to outweigh the benefits of success, so they hold back and do nothing.

Fear of success can be a powerful hindrance as well, making people feel stressed and overwhelmed with the added responsibilities that would probably come with greater success. They may fear not being able to handle those responsibilities, or worry that they’d feel pressured to keep attaining the same level of success in the future. These fears are often enough to cause people to sabotage their own efforts, even when they sincerely want to become more successful.

Either way, fear is strong enough to paralyze most of us – whether the things we fear are real or imagined.

In my life, I have allowed many fears to hold me back from bringing out my personal best. Over the coming months, I would love to take as many people as possible on a journey of awareness and overcoming. The response I have had from some mini blogging has inspired me to write a book, start a new website and develop some tools that will help people all over the world transform their lives by renewing their minds and giving them hope for a brighter future. If you would like to come along (or have a friend who you would like to come along) leave me a reply or subscribe on the link below.

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Have a fantastc week, free from fear. You deserve it!

Cheers

Grant Herbert
The People Builder