Dad I’m Watching You


I have the privilege of speaking to men, one on one and in groups, encouraging them with empowering information on issues we face being a man.

One of the biggest issues I have chosen to address is the area of fatherhood.

If you are a dad, you have a dad, you know people who are dads or there is a chance that one day you will be a dad, you need support in this vital element of our society today. It saddens me that to drive a car in the state I live, you need to do 100 hours documented driver training as well as pass a theory and practical test before you can go it alone behind the wheel. In contrast to that, all a man needs to do is have an intimate relationship with a member of the opposite sex and he can be a dad. I ask myself, what is more important, driving a car or fathering a generation?

Kids all over the planet, no matter the race or culture, are being taught how to live by their dad. The challenge we face in society is two fold.

1. What are dads teaching?

2. Who is teaching the kids who don’t have a dad in their everyday life?

There are staggering statistics in our country which show hundreds of thousands of kids who will go to bed tonight in a home that doesn’t include their biological dad. There is no substitute for a dad, just as there is no substitute for a mum. Their roles are very different and we ought not expect them to do each other’s part in raising their kids. For a child to have the best chance of growing up with a healthy identity, secure in their own abilities, they need both parents in their day to day lives.

I remember the day I brought each of my 5 outstanding children home from hospital. I was scared stiff. Who was going to help me, who was going to teach me?

All men need support, teaching, encouragement and even correction to become the dad our kids need us to be.

Some men spend more time at work than they do with their kids, not because they love work more, they feel more equipped to do what they do at work than they do in being a father.

The good news is there is help available. You need not go it alone.

If you are a dad or you just want to be plugged into some good coaching and encouragement, not ridicule and judgement, drop me a line and I will connect with you.

“>Watch this video, it will inspire you!


Grant Herbert

The People Builder
Dads4Kids logo


Increase your productivity with a better outcome for everyone

It is often said that we spend more time with our employees and work colleagues than with our friends and loved ones. Relationships at work can develop and grow in importance over many years. Work teams can often begin to feel a bit like being in a family situation where people can look out for each other and notice when things are not quite right. As with all families a multitude of feelings go along with this: both feelings of belonging and working together but also feelings such as exclusion, feeling picked on etc.

Personal Problems in your workplace decrease productivity.

Relationship problems

As a fellow human being you know that personal problems are bound to come into the workplace to a varying degree and affect, quite naturally, staff member’s work performance for a while. There may be particular pressures at home which make it difficult for your staff to balance work and home. You have to balance everything out knowing that it is not only you who are affected by someone not being 100% but that that person is often carried by the team. Your responsibility is to get the task done and judge when individual problems have to come secondary to the completion of the task.

How do I know if there are problems?

A change in any of the following areas may indicate there are problems at home:

Irregular Attendance – frequent absences from work for minor unrelated conditions
Poor time keeping or missing meetings or deadlines
Change in mood. Irritability or low mood. Anxiety over minor tasks or incidents
Deterioration in the quality of work
Complaints from colleagues or students
Physical signs such as sudden weight loss or gain, poor personal hygiene, lack or care with appearance

What do I do now?

In many cases everyday management interventions can remedy the situation through regular supervisory support, giving your staff space to feel supported and talk through any difficulty. Working together on assuring extra help or reallocation of work when needed in order for the task to be completed can be supportive.

There are times as an employer or manager, however, when you may feel that what you have to offer is not enough to manage the difficulties.
Your time is limited. You do not have the time it takes to listen in depth to your staff’s problems.
However much you want to help, you may also recognise the limitations to the help you can provide given the nature of the management relationship where you have the power ultimately to hire or fire.
You may feel that the nature of the problem you are being presented with is beyond your remit as a manager or you may feel “out of your depth”.
You may feel you want to respect your staff member’s privacy when you may not be the most appropriate person to talk to about a problem of a personal nature.

How can I help them and still have time to run my business?

My company has developed a program to assist business owners and managers identify personal problems that are costing your company business.

Need to know more……

Add a comment to this blog and I will contact you to set up a time for a free workplace productivity assessment.


Grant Herbert
The People Builder

Home to Work – Work to Home


Our jobs are where we work, allowing us to support our families financially. Our homes are where we live, allowing us to raise our families, supporting them in many other areas. Developing balance between the two can leave us feeling overwhelmed and discouraged. We are inevitably searching for a needle in a haystack. The times we are living in have imposed greater challenges, both personally and professionally, and how that affects us and those around us is ultimately our responsibility.

Walking out of our workplace and into our homes should be a smooth transition. More often than not we create unnecessary issues either at home or our jobs that could easily be avoided if we would keep the two separate. Perhaps setting guidelines and priorities as a rule is the best place to start so that we can avoid additional problems at home.

We are living through very difficult economical challenges and leaving problems from work at work and problems from home at home becomes more and more difficult with each passing day. Our employers have raised the demand on our workload and productivity, and yet cutback on the necessary means in which to meet their purpose.

When we start loosing sleep because we are bringing home problems from their job, our family will suffer the consequences. Irritability will replace logic and reason, and small issues will become monumental. When work related issues become dinner conversation, bells and whistles should be blaring in your head that this is a problem. Do we choose the ignorance that says these tell tale sign’s are some one else’s problem?

Getting caught up in ones job is easy, and allowing ones job to define you is even easier. What’s missed however is the toll this will take not only on yourself, but on those around you. You are not your job. If you believe this is what truly defines you as a person then your priorities are completely out of balance.

When leaving your job at the end of a days work, start by focusing on what was achieved today and not what went wrong. Positive thoughts will allow for you to de-stress on your commute home, which will put you in the proper mindset of reconnecting with your family and the events of their day.

Pay attention to others on your commute home. You are not the only person leaving a job that’s demanding and stressful. On any given day, there is someone feeling the same things you are, and having to make the same choice as you do. Do you arrive home angry and disturbed by the days end or do you leave these issues in their rightful place?

We all have choices, and we are all responsible for these same choices. Your family role is so much more important than your job role. Be a good employee and do your job to the best of your abilities. It’s how you support the family; financially. One can’t ignore the importance of being a full time worker, as that’s how we support our families, but one should never be a part time family member. Or is that the price ones willing to pay?

How do I become an authority on this subject? Experience is a great teacher!

Next week we will look at the reverse. What effects do our problems at home have on our ability to be productive in the workplace?


Grant Herbert
The People Builder

Do you have negative stress to unload?

stressed-outIf you knew the leading causes of stress in your life, would you take action to eradicate them? Can you eradicate stress – or is it an inoperable condition that will be with you all of your life, possibly causing your eventual death?

Which Is Your Leading Cause of Stress?

1. Finances

Most studies agree that finances are a leading cause of negative stress.

Some who name finances as the leading cause of stress cite major purchases they have to make, such as a home or car. Others are stressed by a loss of income, or mounting credit card debt. For some, financial stress will eventuate in bankruptcy. While university students stress over paying for an education, Baby Boomers and older senior citizens find that retirement income can be a major cause of stress.

2. Work

Closely tied to finances as a cause of stress is work. Our jobs or careers seem to cause constant stress.

How is the workplace a cause of stress? We worry about getting and keeping adequate employment. We worry about new types of work or new responsibilities. We struggle to climb a career ladder, overwhelmed by the demands. Work conditions may change, or we may have interpersonal trouble at work. Students, especially teenagers and university age students, cite school work as a cause of stress. Sometimes, work stress is brought on by others. Sometimes, we bring it on ourselves.

3. Family

Family, wonderful though each member may be, is also a leading cause of stress. Arguments erupt with a spouse or other family member. Parents divorce. Children marry. The ebb and flow of family life is filled with stress. A child moves out – an aging parent moves in.

Family health is also a leading cause of stress. A sick family member, a serious injury, pregnancy, miscarriage, or abortion all cause stress. Family changes of other kinds bring stress, too. Adoption, relocation, and job changes for just one family member can cause stress for all.

4. Personal Concerns

Personal concerns that are only indirectly created by others are another top cause of stress. Lack of control tops the list of personal concerns. Every human has a deep-seated desire for control over his or her own life. When control is weak or missing in a given area, we experience stress. To many people, a lack of control over their own time is a leading cause of stress. We want to determine when we do tasks around the home, or at work. Holding a job, participating in the children’s carpool to school, driving family to soccer practices, shopping, and scout meetings while trying to keep the household running can create major stress. You would like to control your time, rather than let others’ demands control it, but that is not always possible.

We may be involved in legal proceedings that cause stress. We may be wrestling with a bad habit. We may be going through changes. Personal change of any kind can be a cause of stress.

5. Personal Health and Safety

Most people find that personal health is a leading cause of stress. For some, the stress is linked to obesity, and a desire to lose weight. For others, the stress is a personal bas habit that affects health and must be changed. For example, smoking, abuse of alcohol or other drugs. Illness or injury, whether less or more serious, can be a leading cause of stress for many people. Incontinence can be an ongoing concern. Personal health is more or less stressful according to the degree of seriousness and our personal outlook on health.

Personal safety is also a leading cause of stress. Women, more than men, tend to stress about their own and others’ safety. Adults tend to stress more than young people, who may act invincible.

6. Personal Relationships

Whether it is a friendship, dating, separation, marriage, divorce, or re-marriage, a relationship can be a leading cause of stress for many. We all want love, and that is potentially available in relationships, but getting from A to B can be very stressful. Some resort to online relationships that are easier to handle. Others withdraw and become recluses. Either way, the demands on time, finances, and emotions can cause ongoing stress.

7. Death

Probably the most wrenching cause of stress is the death of a loved one or close friend. Even the death of a pet can be stressful. Children are always a source of stress for parents, but when a child dies, the stress is overwhelming. The same is true when a lifetime spouse passes on.

Win or Lose

Causes of stress change as we age. The stressed child who threw tantrums becomes a young student, stressed by the school bully. The young student becomes a teenager, stressed by acne, hormones, and dating. The teenager becomes a young adult trying to handle the stresses of leaving home, adjusting to college life, and managing finances. Life progresses to first jobs, marriage, children, and so on. Even if you move to a secluded cabin in the woods, stress will follow you.

Gaining knowledge of the leading causes of stress is important. Using that knowledge to win over unhealthy stress is vital.

Give me your thoughts.


Grant Herbert

The People Builder

Purpose – The gift of YOUR unique calling

Our career and our calling are often on two separate tracks. Perhaps you find yourself earning an income, yet disengaged from your true purpose and passion. It doesn’t have to be that way! Integrate your career and your calling by finding your “sweet spot” – combining what you love to do with what you do well.

God created you to serve a purpose and then gave you a unique set of gifts to fulfill that purpose. When you discover your gifts and put them to work in service to others, your work will be transfused with a fresh sense of purpose and passion. This passion leads to a successful career and a life of significance.

You may be thinking, “This sounds great (in theory), but in this tough economy, how do I do what I love when I just need to earn a decent living?”

Abilities – The abilities you love to use. These are the natural strengths and competencies you employ to accomplish the results you want (i.e., study, experiment, analyze, persuade, strategize, teach, etc.).

Subject Matter -The things you love to work with; the objects or subject areas to which you’re naturally drawn and in which you achieve your most productive and fulfilling achievements (i.e., numbers, concepts, people, tools, machines, color, etc.).

Circumstances – The ideal environment; situations or settings that stimulate you to achieve. These are the ideal conditions in which you function (i.e., structured, visible, competitive circumstances, etc.) and the factors that “trigger” your motivation (i.e., needs, problems, potential for measurable results, etc.).

Operating Relationships – the way you interact with others in order to accomplish meaningful results (i.e., team member, individualist, spark plug, facilitator, coordinator, etc.).

Payoff – the outcome or goal you love to work toward in order to feel a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction (i.e., excel, overcome, meet requirements, gain response, acquire goods and status, pioneer, etc.).

When you discover YOUR unique God-given design and calling and employ your gifts in your work, you’ll experience genuine joy and satisfaction. Remember, you are what you pursue. Don’t limit your potential by simply pursuing the next pay packet. Rather pursue your God-given potential and serve something greater.


Grant Herbert

The People Builder